Set the Front Door
Make accounts private, turn off location, review friends together, limit messaging to approved contacts, turn off stranger comments, set game chat to friends only, and inspect photographs for identifying details in the background.
Field Manual No. 2
The Stranger in the House
Seven settings to protect kids from online strangers, groomers, and dangerous contact.
Inside the Manual
Seven settings, one sentence, and a calm response
The Stranger in the House is a household guide for reducing online exposure and making it easier for a child to tell an adult when something goes wrong. Its first move is relational: say, “If anything ever goes wrong online, you come to me. I will not be angry. And I will not take your phone.”
The manual then walks through seven settings, the seven tells that can be visible from across a room, a conversation that does not feel like an interrogation, and an ordered response if a suspicious contact or image is found.
The manual directs families to report suspected exploitation to the NCMEC CyberTipline, use Take It Down for images of a minor, contact local law enforcement, and seek clinical help if a child is not sleeping, eating, seeing friends, or acting like themselves.
The core approach
Lower exposure without closing the door to disclosure
See the Tells
Watch for a screen that flips, unexplained gifts or game currency, new vocabulary, unfamiliar apps, a friend nobody has met, mood and clock changes, or the feeling that something is off.
Stay on the Child's Side
Do not get angry, delete evidence, or confront the account. Screenshot and save, report in order, and tell the child clearly that they are not in trouble and this is not their fault.
The seven settings and response plan
What You'll Find Inside
- Private accounts and location off: make public discovery harder and remove location data where it is not needed.
- Friends-list review: clean contacts together and question names the child has never met in person.
- Messaging and game controls: approved contacts only, stranger contact off, and game chat limited to friends.
- Photo checks: look for school names, street signs, house numbers, buses, and routines that can build a map.
- Kitchen charging: move the charger out of the bedroom and use built-in parental controls for a twenty-minute household check.
- Conversation method: ask sideways, side by side, without making the child defend a friendship.
- Evidence and reports: save messages and profiles, avoid tipping off the account, report to CyberTipline, use Take It Down when relevant, call local law enforcement, and do not pay extortion demands.
Use it as a printable field guide
Work the settings together, then keep the numbers on paper
Print the manual and complete the seven settings with the child rather than treating them as an inspection. Put the one-sentence promise somewhere it can be remembered, move the charger, and keep the CyberTipline, Take It Down, 988, and local-law-enforcement contacts available.
Use the seven tells as observations, not accusations. If something is found, follow the manual's order and stay with the child after the first report. The guide is designed to help an adult remain the safe person a child can come to.
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